Anybody Seriously Need To Tell About Trauma But Can Not Unless Asked

I am hoping this is not completely insane, but I've read numerous articles concerning the terrible feelings about having to expose stress facts for your t. I am coping with the other.

I have several 'problems' that I am conscious of from an emotionally/verbally abusive step father to an adult that I trusted in high-school as a maternal figure that confirmed she'd other ideas for the connection... And what's daily becoming more of the certainty that I've repressed very early abuse (I have always had terrors but am not hearing his and my speech in my own head which isnot pleasant change of words)... I have NEVER told details of any one of this stuff. I've mentioned to 2 people that "anything" occurred with this person that was the extent and I respected. I am plagued by photos, small video in my head of those I recall and today these sounds of what I believe.

I'm dealing with a t and desperate to talk trauma also have discovered that I can not tell him ANYTHING if he doesn't ask. I have told him this and he's proficient at looking to ask me questions. The issue is, I can also not tell him things to ask. it is much like I'm banned to only openly tell things but I'm permitted to answer, although I know it might sound completely crazy. He's gone backwards and forwards about 'control' trauma and I believe I am so calm about things going on he doesn't think they are and starts to consider we need to go another direction. I get disappointed once I hear him want to quit trust about actually getting relief and obtain quite depressed and talk about not addressing the injury particularly. It is like I KNOW I have to have out these details but I cannot tell him that. I believe he's also worried I cannot handle dealing with the trauma immediately because of my anxiety attacks, but I don't learn how to alter any of this. He discusses stress as possible and wanting to do it with as little depth and I have learn about every one of these new methods to take care of PTSD without detailed handling, but I need it so bad.

Does this seem sensible to EVERYONE? I understand I would be HIGHLY embaressed to mention what exactly that I hope it'snot something ill making me wish and I'd have to to... But I'm worried we are going to spend years since he thinks I'm worried, tiptoeing around the specifics and I am desperately attempting to pour the beans. I hope I could tell him this, but it isn't allowed.